Even though you may have buried that box of perfectly-ripened apricots twenty or even thirty years ago in a seemingly endless field where the sun came through the branches of that old spruce tree just so, casting dancing shadows on the dewy tall grass, there's no reason I can't show you how to hack your brain to find it now! You'll have sweet apricot juice running down your cheeks in no time. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion Follow Drew Cleary on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/troublehacker Follow Onion Digital Studios on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/oniondigstudios